A little bitter sweet

This week we would have been at the MTC. And today, Sunday, we would have been in Switzerland visiting with my Sister and brother-on-law who are serving a mission there... on our way to Zagreb, Croatia.

But... we are not. We had a lovely baptism of a granddaughter last Saturday and enjoyed seeing four of our six children and 20 grandchildren at the event.  Then this weekend my youngest daughter and family came to visit. It was a delightful distraction.

Tom and I are continuing to work on our Croatian language skills.  They are meager but growing.

Nearly a month has passed since my first diagnosis. Since that time we scheduled surgery, then had a CT scan that showed the cancer had spread outside the colon into the abdomen and perhaps into the liver.  This was beyond the scope of simple surgery... so that was postponed.

We saw an oncologist who ordered more tests. Finally had a PET scan on Friday and should have the results at my Tuesday Doctor's appointment.  This should also be the time the doctor gives me his ideal treatment plan.  We scheduled a second opinion for the following week at M D Anderson in Houston, TX, the leading cancer treatment center in the nation.

I have been using many natural remedies. Frankincense essential oil, energy healing, visualization, Chinese medicine, and essiac tea. My hope and prayer is that the PET scan will show that some of this has had an effect for good.

I know that the Lord is the Master Healer and I am in his hands.  I am seeking the treatment that will be according to his plan and design. I know he loves me and will guide me through this.

change in plans

This past week has been filled with unexpected events. I went in Monday for a fairly routine colonoscopy and learned that I had a mass that would need to be surgically removed and require a few months for recovery.

We were stunned. We were so focused on going on a mission. Our every thought was… what needs to be done before we leave… and now we felt we were letting people down-- people in the mission who were depending on us.  then we recognized that this is God's work.  He knew our problem would create this outcome.  He could handle it.

So we adjusted to the fact that we would not leave on the date planned. It would be pushed back at least several months.

As the week progressed the news continued. Cancer had taken up residency in my body. It had spread outside the colon. There were several masses that needed to be dealt with.

We spent the first few days in mourning. And the next few trying to find a sense of direction and focus.  Moving from mission to healing.

One of the wonderful blessings has been feeling the outpouring of love from family, friends and our wonderful ward family. It humbles me and I am grateful.

At this point we are walking day by day.

Regardless of the future, this much I know.

I am a daughter of God.  He loves me!

Jesus is my Savior and He is walking beside me every step of the way.

He knows my pains, my fears, my hopes and my joys and He feels them with me.

I Trust God.  I know all things shall work together for my good.

I know my Savior is strengthening and supporting me through this and all things.

I am confident that as I continue to seek God's guidance and direction, we will find a way through this.